The Monster Within
by XxbLiNdArTiStxX
Summary: When Rachel is changed into a vampire, she is found and taken in by the Cullens after she wakes up and kills a human. When Rachel isolates herself in order to protect the people around herself, she tumbles into a world of anxiety and paranoia. But when one of the wolves imprints on her, everything is turned upside down.


_Blood_.

All I wanted was blood. My throat burned with the need to drink something, but water did nothing to help.

_Blood. I needed blood._

My fingers shook with adrenaline, my vision was blurry with the primal instinct to hunt. I could smell the blood, I knew where the blood was. She smelled wonderful, a scent I could not describe that made my mouth water. She was walking on the path, headphones in her ears. Blood. She had blood. I licked my lips with a sadistic smirk, my toes curling with anticipation as I waited until she came right in front of me. I watched her jugular, the pulsing in her neck that was terribly inviting. A small, low growl erupted from my throat, as I watched the woman walk closer and closer to me.

_Blood._

My throat burned, and suddenly, I couldnt wait. I leapt, taking the woman off guard and grabbing her around the shoulders, pinning her to a tree and sinking my fangs into her neck. She only managed a small yelp of pain, a half second to struggle before her neck snapped from my strength and I finished draining her of blood. Her body tumbled to the ground in a mass of tangled limbs and small dribbles of blood. The burn in my throat was quenched and suddenly, reality began to set back in to me.

I stared down at the dead body before me in horror, fingers trembling and my lip quivering. Blood covered my lips, chin and the front of my shirt, causing it to stick to my chest. _I just killed a woman_. I thought, slowly stumbling away from her, gripping the trunk of a tree to keep myself from falling to my knees. It didnt help. I crumbled, dropping to the earth with silent, unshed tears. A choked, strangled sob escaped my lips and my fingers covered my mouth as I dry heaved, my eyes never leaving the body. _I killed a woman_. What was I? What was the monster that I have become? My fingers dug into the bark of the tree I was still holding onto, and I heard the sound of it crunching, my fingers making perfect impressions into the bark. _What the hell am I?_

A gasp finally broke my eyes from the body against the tree. A man and a woman with beautiful topaz eyes stared at the body on the floor before turning their gazes to me. My eyes were wide with fear and I scrambled back away from them. They were going to call the police, they were going to take me away, I was going to be locked away forever. _I should be, Im a monster_. The man looked from the woman, back to me and I watched as sympathy washed over his shocked, perfect face. He was tall, lean, with blonde hair that was brushed back from his face. He was beautiful, perfect in every way, pale with no sign of blemish. The woman was the same, with long, curly caramel hair. She was smaller, and emitted motherly instincts. She took a step towards me, breaking the contact with the man and reaching a hand out like I was a scared animal. _I am_.

"Sweetie, my name is Esme. We are like you. We can help you." I shook my head furiously. She was nothing like me. She was beautiful and perfect and she didnt understand the danger that I was. _She doesnt smell like blood. She smells like lavender_. I looked at her, pressing my back against the tree. I heard a crack as I pressed back to hard. "You're scared. I understand. But I promise that we can help you." She whispered, taking another step towards me. "We can teach you to control it. We can teach you not to hurt humans." Again, I shook my head.

"Stay back," I told her, holding back the shock of my own voice. It sounded like liquid honey, sweet and light. It didnt sound like me. "I dont want to hurt you too." The blonde haired man smiled as he came to stand beside the woman.

"We are like you. You cant hurt us like that." He told me. I shook my head.

"You dont know that!" I wailed, still shaking. I was terrified. I couldnt hurt anyone again. _Im a monster_. Why couldnt these people understand that? Why couldnt they just call me in and get the hell away?

"We do know that, honey. We do. Just take a deep breath, everything will be okay." The woman took a chance and stepped toward me and kneeled down. She placed a comforting hand on my leg. "You woke up, you were thirsty, but water wouldnt quench your thirst. You were craving blood and you smelled this lady here and your instincts took over. Am I right?" I stared at her in shock and slowly nodded. "We have been through that too, and I promise you that you will gain control. Carlisle, my husband, and I have six children and a grandchild that are all like you too. We can help you. You can be a part of our family."

"We dont drink from humans, we drink from animals." Carlisle added, stepping forward as well. "Please, let us help you. Let us get you out of here before someone else stumbles over you." I turned towards the dead body on the ground, my lower lip still trembling. "I will take care of it. Go with Esme, she can take you somewhere safe." I looked up to him. _He wants to help me. He wants to help a monster_. And against everything that my mind was telling me, I took his hand. "What's your name?"

"Rachel."

* * *

Esme took my hand and ran. We ran faster than I could ever imagine, practically floating on the wind. She smiled at me and pulled me faster. I wasnt running to my fullest, but I was holding back. I didnt want to hurt her. She was so accepting of me, protective. I couldnt understand why someone like her and Carlisle would want to help me. "We're almost there." She told me, her pale, hard hand gripping my own tightly. "The kids will love you, I promise." I bit my lip, my fingers still shaking. Carlisle suddenly came to my side as we came to a small opening in the forest, where a large, three story, white building primarily made of glass stood.

"They already know you're here. Dont worry," Carlisle told me, giving me an encouraging smile. I was worrying anyway. _Why would they like a monster? Why am I here?_ I continued to bite my lip, and my fingers continued to shake. _Im still covered in blood._ I tried to lick it off my mouth the best I could, but I still felt dirty. Sticky. Disgusting. "Come on, they want to meet you." He whispered to me, stepping up the stone steps and opening the glass door. "Kids!" Esme squeezed my hand tightly and walked me into the house. I felt like I was staining their beautifully kept wood floors. Everything was modern, beautiful and perfect and I felt disgusting, dirty and like I didnt belong. Esme pulled me into the living room, but I stopped myself on the hard wood floor. I didnt want to step onto the white carpet. Esme looked back at me but my eyes were on the crowd of people that stared back at me.

A group of seven people stared at me with a mixture of emotions. A small, dark haired girl sat on the white suede couch, wrapped in the arms of a blonde haired man. She was smiling at me with a thousand watt smile, practically bouncing on the couch, while the man beside her kept his poker face on. I could see he was struggling with something as he watched me, and seconds later, I realized that he looked exactly how I felt: scared, anger, nervous, emotionally torn apart. On the other couch sat a brown haired woman, who was taller than the other girl and her hair much longer. She seemed hesitant as she looked at me, her arms wrapped tightly around the waist of an auburn haired child with deep brown eyes. Behind the couch with his hands on her shoulders was seemingly the father of the child, with the same auburn hair. He stared at me intently and it was slightly terrifying. _I realize I look like a monster. I realize I am a monster. He doesnt need to confirm what I already know._ I saw shock filter over his face for a split second before he put on his poker face again. Beside the brown haired woman was a blonde woman, her lips slightly pursed. She was gorgeous- all of them really were, but she practically glowed. She clasped the hand of an extremely large and muscular man with a goofy smile on his lips. They seemed completely opposite, but worked perfectly.

"Everyone, this is Rachel. She is part of the family, now." Carlisle announced from his place by the fireplace. The blonde haired girl snapped her gaze to him angrily.

"Dont you think we should get a say in this? What happened to family meetings?" She practically growled. I felt my stomach drop. I took a step back out of the room.

"Rose." Esme warned, before turning back to me. "Rachel, this is our family." She started to introduce them in the same order that I saw them. "This is Alice, and her husband, Jasper. Alice can see the future and Jasper can feel and control emotions. Next is the little mini family or our family: Edward, Bella and their daughter, Renesmee. Bella is a shield, which basically keeps her from being effected from other powers, and Edward can read minds- Dont freak out!" Esme watched my eyes widen and myself take another step back. "He can control it, he only reads minds when he wants to. He wont hear every little thing you think." I looked at her hesitantly before back to Edward, who gave me a small smile. When I took a half step forward again, Esme smiled and continued on. "Finally, there is Rosalie and Emmett." Rosalie glared at me, while Emmett gave me a small salute. I gave them a small, shaky wave, still biting my lip.

I watched as Renesmee pulled from her mothers grasp and bounced across the room. The room fell silent and Bella, Edward and Rosalie all sat up straight, ready to jump forward if I were to do something. My eyes widened and I stepped back, tripping over the small step that I didnt realize was there. Renesmee continued forward until she stood right in front of me. I whimpered lightly, trying to step back again, but she reached foward and placed her small hand against my face.

I felt my eyes flutter closed as my vision changed. I was sitting in the living room with Alice by my side, chatting about something. Rosalie sat on the floor by my feet with a magazine, flipping through it. Emmett played with Renesmee in front of the coffee table. Esme stood in the kitchen, making food for Renesmee with Bella at her side. Edward was at the piano and Jasper was reading a book. Carlisle walked in the door with a brief case in hand and kissed every one of his daughters on the head, and Esme on the lips. He included me.

Renesmee pulled her hand from my face and I stared down at her in awe. She smiled at me before bouncing back to her mother. Esme smiled at me when I looked over at her before motioning to Alice, who jumped up immediately. "Come on! Let's get you cleaned up!" I let out a small squeek as I was pulled up the stairs and out of sight.


End file.
